Sleep Deprivation and You
If you are a parent chances are you have had more than one sleepless night. Whether you have a fussy newborn, teething toddler, sick child or teen that has missed curfew; sleepless nights are part of the parenting game. But ongoing sleep deprivation has serious health risks for you. In this post I share some ways to lessen the negative effects of sleep deprivation.
Mommy (and Daddy) Brain
I remember in the weeks after having a new baby struggling to do simple tasks– like remembering an acquaintance’s name or getting a complete thought out of my mind in a coherent way. Forget about being calm, patient or otherwise emotionally well balanced!
Healthline says–
The symptoms of being sleep deprived are well known to anyone who’s pulled an all-nighter or recently had a baby. The most common effect of too little sleep is sleepiness, of course, but also moodiness and brain “fog” — the general inability to think straight or remember anything.
Healthline
Clearly sleep is an important part of health, including emotional health. Emotional health is an important part of maintaining relationships and effective parenting. So it behooves us to prioritize good sleep.
What’s a parent to do?
Clearly there are times that there is no way around a sleepless night. And the occasional battle with the night owl is to be expected but chronic sleep deprivation should be avoided.
I have had a baby in the home for the last 20 years. Now 9 children still live at home ranging in age from 18-1, there are ample opportunities for sleepless nights, but here are my top tips for making sure you get a good night’s sleep.
- Prioritize Sleep
- Attachment Parenting
- Consistent schedule with bedtime routine
- Bedroom environment
- Supplements
Prioritize Sleep
When I was a young teen I had mono. It was a horrible experience. I was barely able to make it out of bed each morning. My daily schedule looked something like this–get up and eat breakfast, nap, lunch, MAYBE shower, nap, dinner, visit with my family, go to bed early.
If this schedule sounds difficult for you to manage as a parent you would be right. Both my parents were working and I needed help with meals and they honestly didn’t trust me to be home alone, so I moved in with my grandparents–for 3 months!
It took nearly a year for me to fully recover and my doctor told me that I would always have to guard my sleep to avoid a relapse. That illness when I was younger showed me how important it is to prioritize sleep as an adult to avoid sleep deprivation.
So what does prioritizing sleep look like? If you have a sleepless night, don’t try to keep going with all the things you had scheduled for the day. As much as possible clear you schedule and sleep during the day. Do not try to keep pushing yourself and assume it will all work out. You could be knocked out on the couch for 3 months.
Attachment Parenting
While Attachment Parenting wasn’t a thing when my parents were raising me, co-sleeping was the occasional treat that I found extremely comforting as a child. My plan with my first child was the separate nursery and crib down the hall complete with baby monitors.
But he came 5 weeks early. I was completely unprepared. No nursery. No carseat, diapers, etc. In addition, to say that I was mentally shocked would be an understatement.
The hospital I had him at promoted babies in the rooms (rooming in). I found that I could not sleep if my baby was awake AND I could not sleep if he was asleep because I constantly found myself listening to make sure he was still breathing.
My husband is from Cambodia. Growing up his whole family would sleep in the same room–often on the floor in the living room with everyone wrapped individually in their blankets. He told me, “just hold him.” I did. I slept. The nurses scowled and lectured every time they caught me.
After coming out of the hospital I discovered there was actually a style of parenting that promoted co-sleeping, extending breastfeeding and other practices to promote “attachment”–attachment parenting.
I bought a little bassinette that fit between us in the bed and continued to co-sleep. I never looked back.
NOTE: the whole point for me of co-sleeping was the ensure that I got a good night’s sleep. And there have been numerous times where children have gotten sick during the night and I was there and ready to help them. I am thankful for this. But if you cannot sleep with your children in the room (I have a sister-in-law like this) then prioritize your sleep in whatever way feels best for you.
Consistent Schedule and Bedtime Routine
The Sleep Foundation highlights how a bedtime routine helps us sleep better.
Humans are creatures of habit. Like any other routine, bedtime routines establish habits that help our brains recognize when it is time to sleep. By performing the same activities in the same order every night, your brain comes to see those activities as a precursor to sleep.
Sleep Foundation
Most parents will discover the importance of a sleep routine with their children, but it can also benefit you. Things like journaling, meditating, taking a bath, drinking a cup of tea or having a healthy snack are all things that can help signal our bodies that it is time to sleep–especially when done on a regular basis.
One thing that most experts agree on is staying away from screens–phone, tv, etc, before bed. If that is really difficult for you, try some blue light glasses.
I honestly find a full day schedule helps lead into a good bedtime routine. There are going to be times when you can’t do that, but schedules are pretty awesome–if knowing what to expect helps you relax. If not, then having a more laid back approach is great too. The important thing is to not spend all day stressed out and rushing around and expect to be able to fall into bed and sleep right away.
Bedroom Environment
My bedroom is far from magazine worthy. Honestly it is in drastic need of decluttering and organizing. I think I have about 40 books on my nightstand and stacked next to my bed (don’t ask, I may have a problem).
But what I am speaking to here is more than about ascetics. Actually, it is about science–for one keeping your bedroom dark or using a specialized night light to promote restful sleep. There are all sorts of studies about serotonin and other sleep hormones that are present when we sleep in darkness. So as you plan your bedroom make sure that it is dark enough for a good night’s sleep.
Another thing I do is charge my cell phone in the kitchen. Yeah I might miss out on early morning or late night calls but that is kinda the point. I have had times when I have heard my phone ringing from the kitchen but thankfully all those pesky notification dings are missing. I just like to have that separation. My husband does not. He charges the phone on his side of the bed.
Supplements
I do not normally use supplements–or at least am not very consistent with them. When I do I prefer herbal supplements. The trick with herbs it to take them regularly.
My favorite supplement is Calcium Magnesium. I started taking this when my midwife recommended it. It is also great for aches and pains and general wellbeing. Often these type of physical issues can contribute to sleep deprivation. A liquid version makes it easier for the body to absorb, but any version will help. Some brands have zinc mixed in–this is great for the immune system.
Another herb is Chamomile. This is the quintessential bedtime treat and is often used with children who have an upset stomach. Take Chamomile as a tea is a great part of a bedtime routine. Another way to take chamomile is as an essential oil.
Good night to you!
I hope this short list of ideas helps you find that good night’s sleep that you are looking for. Literally as I write this the baby had me up all night. Even co-sleeping is not a guarantee of a good night’s sleep when littles are teething or in a growth spurt. Yep, fighting sleep deprivation is a constant battle. So I have been stealing cat naps all day, and being extra slow in everything I do. All unnecessary items have been removed my “to-do” list and my dinner plans have been swapped for a super easy stand-in dish everyone loves–spaghetti. Just boil pasta and add a canned sauce. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
